This year, my Valentine is not a woman, but rather, Alton Brown's Mooless Chocolate Pie. I am honestly okay with this.
I had my doubts about the pie, but I also had some soft silken tofu in my cupboard, and I never use soft tofu, and the recipe looked so easy. And, in fact, it was. The most recent pies I've made have all turned out too goopy, and it looked like the same was going to happen here, but it chilled into a surprisingly firm texture, and also surprisingly smooth. When I blended everything together, I could see little teeny bits of tofu, but they miraculously absorbed into the pie in the end. Next time, I think I'll just do a homemade Oreo crust, because the storebought ones are always so dry, but it's still superb and I love the combination of Kaluha and chocolate.
So, the basic idea is this. You want to melt twelve ounces of chocolate chips. He says "high quality," and of course high quality probably would be better, but to keep it in budget I went with Hershey's semisweet. Add 1/3 cup of Kaluha, and careful to keep stirring so you don't burn anything. I recommend low heat. Once you have a nice smooth substance, you can take it off the heat and dump it in your bowl. Alton says to use a blender or food processor, but I found that a bowl and electric mixer worked fine for my purposes. Granted, my mixer is really, really powerful. Anyway, add a box of soft silken tofu. I drained it a little, but not completely. Also dump in a tablespoon of honey and a teaspoon of vanilla. I eyeballed it. Put your blender on liquify or your mixer on high speed until you have a really smooth consistency. I did it about three minutes on the highest mixer speed. Pour into a chocolate cookie crust and chill at least two hours. It should be almost a cheesecake consistency, and oh so delicious.